to move up and down
Little Red Riding Hood
The Problem of Lesbian Sheep
When sheep, in the mountains, are wanting to breed,
there’s not very much that the sheep up there need.
For they’ve got quite a system when it’s time to mate:
the rams nose around, and the ewes stand and wait.
Yes, the female sheep don’t have to do anything,
when the rams (in the mountains) go crazy in spring,
but give off special smells from their feminine places
which those sex-hungry rams can detect - with their faces.
Yep those rams stick their noses in each ewe’s behind
to detect if to mating she might be inclined,
and if so he mounts her - they both have their fun -
and that’s how the process of mating is done.
And so, to sum up, there’s a system in place
to ensure that the sheep can continue their race,
and it works like a charm. So, no cause to lose sleep.
… but consider the problem of lesbian sheep …
Yes, a lesbian sheep hopes and prays she can find
a lesbian ewe who’s of similar mind
but she doesn’t know how! She was brought up to think
that to find a good mate, you just stand there and stink.
And alas, her true love, just a few yards away,
tries the very same thing in the very same way,
and though they both want to be loved and be held,
they just stand around, and wait to be smelled.
Oh the pain they must suffer! Their agonized cries!
The mere thought of their torment brings tears to my eyes!
And it’s all so unneeded! Imagine their joy
if they just found a different technique to employ.
Even lesbian sheep must have some way to meet!
It presumably starts by one moving its feet,
drawing close to the other and sniffing its rear,
or presenting its own. On this point I’m not clear.
But they can’t stand around like their hetero kin
simply waiting for somebody else to begin.
And so my advice to gay sheep as they graze:
to woo lesbian ewes, use less motionless ways.
—by Howard A. Landman
Queer Margins
-via trans-fusion
Trans Men Supporting Trans Women
So I’m helping organize the No More Apologies Ottawa conference and found out that a group of local trans men are showing us their support by baking snacks for the event which they are going to drop off before hand and then they are going to go talk about transmisogyny in the community and what they can do about it!
I heard this and I died! This is so awesome!
I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of misting up all over again while writing this.
Thank you guys!
No More Apologies Ottawa! / Pas Plus d'Excuses Ottawa!
Come see what all the fuss is about!
I’m really excited to be a part of organizing this event and to be facilitating one of the discussion groups!
Calling all Queer Women in Ottawa and Gatineau! On April 14th we will be hosting No More Apologies Ottawa!
No More Apologies Ottawa is a FREE conference to discuss romance, sexual health and social exclusion in Queer Women’s Communities.
The Conference has been inspired by the “No More Apologies: Queer Trans and Cis Women Coming/Cumming Together!” conference, first organized in Toronto, Ontario by a dedicated group of activists. This movement has been taken up in Ottawa by PTS, Planned Parenthood Ottawa and a group of dedicated queer women’s activists.
From the original event:
“Social exclusion negatively impacts trans queer women’s sexual, emotional, and psychological health; meanwhile by excluding trans women from our communities, cis queer women are missing out on a multitude of sexy, wonderful women to love, fuck, and connect with.
Join us for this long overdue conversation and call-to-action about how to transform our talk about trans inclusion into practice.”
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CONFERENCE SCHEDULE:
{At Jack Purcell Community Centre Room 203}
12:00pm – 12:10pm: Conference Opening
12:10pm – 12:50pm: KEYNOTE Presentation Morgan M Page - author of Brazen: the Trans Woman’s Safer Sex Guide.
1:00pm – 2:00pm: Getting It On!: A discussion on the specific safer sex needs of trans women and how to negotiate consent for the most amount of pleasure. Co-facilitated by Jade Pichette of PTS and Allison Armstrong of RHO
2:15pm – 3:15pm: Break Out Sessions
• Trans Women’s Caucus: Discussing the experiences of exclusion in the queer women’s community.
• Cis Women’s Caucus: Discussing how to further the inclusion of trans women into the queer women’s community.
3:20pm – 4:20pm: Coming / Cumming together: Where have we all been and where are we going from here.
5:00pm – 9:00pm: Break for Dinner and Location Change
{At the Montgomery Legion 330 Kent St}
9:00pm – 2:00am: Grrrl Groove: Come practice your consent negotiating skills, have fun, hang out, and get dancing at our sexy after-party. Allies are welcome. All Ages. $5-$15 sliding scale. (https://www.facebook.com/events/187956604652477/)
To Contact the committee, email Jade at creating.safer.spaces@ptsottawa.org or phone 613-563-4818. Follow PTS and PPO on twitter and facebook for updates!
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OTHER Important information:
-This is a queer women’s event. Out of respect for the attendees, we ask that folks who do not identify as women do not attend the daytime conference sessions; but EVERYONE is welcome at the after party.
-Non-binary folks if they feel that they fit within the definition of queer woman may come, as we recognize the drawbacks of having a trans/cis binary.
-We are attempting to make the event as accessible as possible. We will give further accessibility details as they develop. If you have any concerns please let us know.
- We are looking for volunteers for translation (French & ASL - American Sign Language), facilitation and the party.
________________________________________________________________________
Le 14 avril 2012, nous invitons toutes les femmes queer à Ottawa et Gatineau à la conférence «Pas plus d’excuses Ottawa»
«Pas plus d’excuses Ottawa» est une conférence gratuite qui se compose de discussions à propos des relations amoureuses, de la santé sexuelle et de l’exclusion sociale dans les communautés de femmes queer.
«Pas plus d’excuses Ottawa» s’inspire de la conférence «No More Apologies: Queer Trans and Cis Women Coming/Cumming Together!», qui a été organisée par un groupe dévoué de militants. Ce mouvement a été repris dans Ottawa par PTS, le Planning des naissances d’Ottawa et un groupe d’activistes consacré aux femmes queer.
Tiré de l’événement d’origine: “L’exclusion sociale influence négativement sur la santé des femmes queer trans sexuellement, émotionnel et psychologiquement; Au même temps, en excluant les femmes queer cis de nos collectivités, on les prive de l’opportunité de rencontrer une multitude de femmes sexy, des femmes merveilleuses à aimer, à baiser et avec qui elles peuvent relier connaissance.
Rejoignez-nous pour cette discussion en tant qu’incitation à l’action concernant la façon de mettre en pratique notre discours de l’intégration des gens trans.
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HORAIRE DE LA CONFÉRENCE :
{à Centre communautaire Jack-Purcell, St. 203}
12h00 à 12h10 : l’ouverture de la conférence
12h10 à 12h50 : présentation diaporama de Morgan M Page, l’auteure de «Brazen: the Trans Woman`s Safer Sex Guide»
13h00 à 14h00 : «Getting It On!»: une discussion des besoins en rapports sexuels plus protégés des femmes trans et la façon de négocier le consentement pour maximiser le plaisir; coanimé par Jade Pichette de PTS et Allison Armstrong du RHO
14h15 – 15h15 : séances de discussion
• Communauté des femmes trans : discussion des expériences de l’exclusion dans la communauté des femmes queer
• Communauté des femmes cis : discussion de la façon de faire avancer l’inclusion des femmes trans dans la communauté des femmes queer
15h20 à 16h20 : venir / enculer ensemble : où avons-nous tous été et où allons-nous dès maintenant
17h00 à 21h00 : pause pour la soupée et le changement de lieu
{à Montgomery Legion 330 rue Kent}
21h00 à 02h00 : Grrrl Groove : venez pratiquer vos compétences en la négociation du consentement, amusez-vous, traînez, et dansez à notre «after-party» sexy. Les alliés sont bienvenus. Tous les ages, échelle mobile de $5 à $15 (https://www.facebook.com/events/187956604652477/)
Pour contacter le comité, veuillez envoyer un courriel électronique à Jade au creating.safer.spaces@ptsottawa.org ou téléphonez au 613.563.4818. Suivez PTS et PNO à Twitter et à Facebook pour les mises à jour.
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D’autres renseignements importants :
• Ceci est un évènement pour les femmes queer. Dans l’intérêt du respect des invités, nous demandons aux gens n’identifiant pas comme femme de ne pas assister à la séance diurne de la conférence. Néanmoins TOUT LE MONDE est bienvenu au «after-party».
• Les personnes de genre non bipolarisé qui croient convenir à la définition de femme queer peuvent venir, puisque nous reconnaissons le désavantage d’une polarisation trans-cis
• Notre but est de rendre l’évènement le plus accessible que possible. Nous vous mettrons à jour quant aux particularités de l’accessibilité quand elles surviennent. Si vous avez des inquiétudes, veuillez nous faire signe.
• Nous recherchons des bénévoles pour la traduction (le français et la langue des signes américaine), l’animation et la célébration
Hot Butch by Wendy DeWolfe 2011
Pen & Pencil Crayon, By Wendy de Wolfe